24 hours later

24 hours and 2 posts later, I really like this blogging shit. It's cool, it fits me, but a lot of people have read my blog already and want me to write with more depth, and want me to pour out my soul and shit like that, and I will, but that shit takes times. I can't just spill it all right now, I gotta get into it first, it's coming soon though, so just relax people.


As the days go on, it seems that instead of my dreams getting closer, they're getting farther away. I try to keep em from slipping through my fingers, but it seems that the tighter I try to grab them and hold on to em, the more and more they slip out of my reach. But I'ma keep working towards what I want, and let God handle the rest. If my dreams are what's meant for me then they'll come...

This past school semester has been rough for me. A lot of shit went wrong and just had me all fucked up mentally. My classes this past semester were a little harder then before, me and my girl for a lil over a year had broke up on some bullshit, I had a lot of shit going on. I was, and still am in the process of transferring schools, I was hooping and working out all the time, and I just went through a lil rough patch of just not giving a fuck about anything. I was going to class, and doing the work, but I wasn't giving the effort I know i should have been. Now, I'm in a even more fucked up position, my gpa dropped significantly and it might hinder me from getting accepted into the other school. I can honestly say I fucked up, and I can accept full responsibility for it, but I know God will make a way, and once he opens up these doors for me to have a fresh start at a new school, I'ma be back on track, doing the things I shoulda been doing in the first place.

No lie, me and my girl breaking up was a big blow for me and it kinda kicked off my non-chalant, not giving a fuck about shit mood. And as fucked up as it is, I can admit that she had that big of an effect on me. I loved the girl. I was in deep, and thats what happens when you're deep in love and shit goes wrong, it fucks you up, it hurts. And it still does. I'm not tripping on it anymore, but I'd be lying if I said this shit don't still hurt sometimes cause it does, and I be mad at myself that I allowed myself to get in soo deep and be hurt so bad, after my whole life I told myself I would never let a female get that close to me, never allow a female the power to hurt me as much as she did, but it's apart of life right?

I feel bad though, cause I feel like it was my fault, like I wasn't doing something right, but oh well. I feel bad for the next girl that really does love me though, cause this last one took a lot out of me, and I aint got shit left to give. I hate it to say it, but I know I'ma hold back from future females in my attempt to avoid this shit from ever happening again.

I'm through for now, I can't keep talkin about this shit, saying the same shit over and over...I'll blog again later.


Shout outs go to my Big Sis Jade...love you lots sis, you always been here through all the bullshit, I appreciate you! And to my big head lil sis Erica, you always encouraging me and supporting me, thanks sis, love you!

::Signing off::