My Thoughts

It's been a while, and I know it's some people out there who faithfully check my blog for new shit, so here it go...

Throughout life we deal a lot of shit. Some good and some bad. A lot of times, it seems like only bad things happen to us, but we know that that's not true. Some of the best and worst moments in life revolve around relationships. Not the lil puppy love ones, but the serious, gave it all you got ones. Falling in love is one of the hardest things to do. Opening up fully to someone else and allowing them total access to your heart, even knowing the possible outcomes. It's such a hard thing to do because humans, out of nature, have a self protection side that has to be completely broken down to fall in love. That's why it hurts so much when you're in love and it doesn't work out. That's also why it's so hard to leave someone alone who you're in love with. You've allowed yourself to become so vulnerable and allowed for your self protective wall to be broken down and it back fired.

Love is a complicated thing, never knowing where it could take you. Allowing it to have total control over your emotions letting it take you as high as the stars above or lower than you ever knew possible. For those of us who have been in love, and even gotten scarred by it, I'm sure we've all noticed how hard it is to leave someone alone who we truly love even though loving them has caused us so much pain in the past. A lot of times, we fall in love with someone and don't even know it. By something as simple as a smile or the way they look at you, it doesn't take much. The craziest thing is being totally helpless in the sequence of things. Often times knowing some bullshit is going on but being so deep in love, you can't act on that suspicion or feeling in the manner you'd like to. Therefore causing the pain to grow and get that much worse.

When it comes to relationships everybody wants the upper hand. Everybody wants to have the other person "sprung," and nobody wants to be sprung. It's crazy. I often question how our parents, grandparents, and other people manage to stay married, 20, 30, 40 years and so on, cause it's hard for us now to stay together a year straight. Given my most recent relationship, I realized it's not because our parents, grandparents, etc are more mature, although they prolly aer, it's because they've learned to relinquish control. They don't strive for the upper hand in their relationship. Think about it. A lot of times with us and our relationships, we want the last word in the argument, we always feel we're right and never wrong, always carrying out an argument that a lot of times aint really bout shit at all. And when that relationship ends, we often complain and wonder why we can't ever stay in a relationship or stay But by them be able to do that, they kill an argument before it starts. A lot of times the other person might be right about something and you're wrong, or vice versa, and you gotta be able to admit that. And sometimes, even when you might know you're right, you just gotta shut up and let it go. It's hard sometimes, but it's needed. It can keep that disagreement from being an argument and possibly growing into a fight. I guess what I'm trying to say is to be fully in love and make it work, you gotta not only allow someone inside your heart and head. Meaning they should know you well enough to never have to guess or question how you feel about something. In addition to that, you gotta give up some power. You gotta be able to admit when you're wrong, and even when you're right, sometimes you just gotta let it go.

Love is one of those things that no matter how hard you try, you can never fully explain it. But I will say this, loving somebody and having somebody truly and fully love you back is the best feeling in the world. The scars and pain from being in love by yourself, or loving someone more than they love you, are temporary, it may take some time to get through it, but the pain doesn't last forever. And I aint tryna act like I'm perfect when it comes to relationships or nothing like that, cause I aint, and a lot of this shit I need to work on too, I'm just speaking from my heart, and speaking on the things I've learned from love. This is just my opinion....Thanks for reading!


::Signing off::